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Friday, February 13, 2015
Things Will Get Better
Do you ever just look at a girl, a beautiful girl, with a perfect smile, perfect laugh, and boys are chasing after her? And do you ever feel jealous over her?
Well I do, lots of time.
I always feel insecure, but I never show it to my friends. My friends are all beautiful, I must admit. But, they often get sad because of their boyfriends. So I'm the one to cheer them up. But they forgot, the people who fixes people, need fixing too. Whenever I tell them my problem, they'll say "Yeah, yeah, it's not that big of a deal. I have more serious issue." And they ended up telling me about their boyfriend again. I feel like I'm an outsider. My issue is more serious than them. I'm suicidal.
So, because nobody is willing to hear my problem, I keep it all to myself. My problem isn't about love, it's about life. I'm the last choice, I always am. I'm nobody's best friend, I'm just their friends. I always wish I'll have a best friend someday, but I don't think I ever will. I mean, I'm not beautiful. My laugh is weird. Boys look at me as the 'really funny girl', but not in the lovely way. I love to tell jokes, and boys aren't really into that kind of girl. I cry myself to sleep.
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People will always see me as the cheerful, funny, and happy girl. But I'm not. One day my friend ask me how could I be so happy, and I tell her that I'm heartless. I never get hurt, or offended. Why yes, yes I am heartless. I don't have any heart because it's already broken. Not by a boy, but by the way people keep ignoring me when I'm talking, by always be the one who fixes people, by always faking smiles.
I always make sure that my friends are okay. I always ask them if anything's wrong. I always check their wrist. But nobody cares about me. I once told my friends that I cut, but they thought it was a joke. "I don't see any cuts." One of them said. But, oh, my friends, why would I cut where you can see? And if you could, you won't care anyway.
I always believe that happy ending exist. I believed in the words 'If it's not okay, it's not the end.' But that's a lie. Things don't always get better. A happy ending is just a story which hasn't finished. So, I don't believe in the word 'Things will get better.' anymore.
But I know it will. Maybe not now, not tomorrow, not next week, or not even 10 years later, but I know things will get better. I'm just not depending on that words anymore. I will not wait for a happy ending, but I will make it. I know I can, and so are you. Make your own happy ending, even though you have to struggle. We don't always get what we want, but hard workers do. Close your ears for those who hates you. You have to make your parents proud, your enemy jealous, and yourself satisfied. It might not be easy, but you'll be happy in the end. Put down your razor, it's not worth it. If you're having a bad day, just remember Ryan Seacrest tried to high-five a blind guy,
I love you.
Well I do, lots of time.
I always feel insecure, but I never show it to my friends. My friends are all beautiful, I must admit. But, they often get sad because of their boyfriends. So I'm the one to cheer them up. But they forgot, the people who fixes people, need fixing too. Whenever I tell them my problem, they'll say "Yeah, yeah, it's not that big of a deal. I have more serious issue." And they ended up telling me about their boyfriend again. I feel like I'm an outsider. My issue is more serious than them. I'm suicidal.
So, because nobody is willing to hear my problem, I keep it all to myself. My problem isn't about love, it's about life. I'm the last choice, I always am. I'm nobody's best friend, I'm just their friends. I always wish I'll have a best friend someday, but I don't think I ever will. I mean, I'm not beautiful. My laugh is weird. Boys look at me as the 'really funny girl', but not in the lovely way. I love to tell jokes, and boys aren't really into that kind of girl. I cry myself to sleep.
People will always see me as the cheerful, funny, and happy girl. But I'm not. One day my friend ask me how could I be so happy, and I tell her that I'm heartless. I never get hurt, or offended. Why yes, yes I am heartless. I don't have any heart because it's already broken. Not by a boy, but by the way people keep ignoring me when I'm talking, by always be the one who fixes people, by always faking smiles.
I always make sure that my friends are okay. I always ask them if anything's wrong. I always check their wrist. But nobody cares about me. I once told my friends that I cut, but they thought it was a joke. "I don't see any cuts." One of them said. But, oh, my friends, why would I cut where you can see? And if you could, you won't care anyway.
I always believe that happy ending exist. I believed in the words 'If it's not okay, it's not the end.' But that's a lie. Things don't always get better. A happy ending is just a story which hasn't finished. So, I don't believe in the word 'Things will get better.' anymore.
But I know it will. Maybe not now, not tomorrow, not next week, or not even 10 years later, but I know things will get better. I'm just not depending on that words anymore. I will not wait for a happy ending, but I will make it. I know I can, and so are you. Make your own happy ending, even though you have to struggle. We don't always get what we want, but hard workers do. Close your ears for those who hates you. You have to make your parents proud, your enemy jealous, and yourself satisfied. It might not be easy, but you'll be happy in the end. Put down your razor, it's not worth it. If you're having a bad day, just remember Ryan Seacrest tried to high-five a blind guy,
I love you.
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